Buford T. Justice, the bumbling yet unforgettable sheriff from Smokey and the Bandit, is a character who has left an indelible mark on pop culture. His over-the-top personality, Southern charm, and comedic timing have made him a fan favorite.
This article celebrates the funny, witty, and downright hilarious quotes from Buford T. Justice, designed to evoke laughter and nostalgia. Whether you’re a longtime fan or new to the franchise, these quotes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
Buford T. Justice: The King of Southern Sass
Buford T. Justice is the epitome of Southern sass, with a knack for delivering lines that are equal parts hilarious and biting. His quick wit and unapologetic attitude make him a standout character. Here are 20 quotes that showcase his iconic sass:
- “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”
- “You can think about it, but don’t do it!”
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”
- “I’m gonna barbeque your ass in molasses!”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
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Buford’s Best One-Liners
Buford T. Justice is a master of the one-liner, delivering punchy, memorable lines that stick with you long after the movie ends. These quotes are perfect for a quick laugh or a witty comeback.
- “What the hell is that?”
- “You can’t outrun me forever!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that steering wheel!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a heart attack!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a trapdoor on a canoe!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a baby!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a freight train!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a spoon!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you crossed me!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer!”
Buford’s Rants: Pure Comedy Gold
Buford’s rants are legendary, filled with over-the-top expressions and hilarious exaggerations. These moments are some of the funniest in the movie, showcasing his larger-than-life personality.
- “There’s no way, no way that you came from my loins!”
- “When I get home, I’m gonna punch your momma in the mouth!”
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born!”
Buford’s Southern Charm
Despite his gruff exterior, Buford T. Justice has a certain Southern charm that makes him endearing. These quotes highlight his unique blend of humor and personality.
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
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Buford’s Funniest Insults
Buford T. Justice is a master of creative insults, delivering lines that are as funny as they are cutting. These quotes are perfect for a laugh or a clever comeback.
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a freight train!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a spoon!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!”
- “You’re about as useful as a trapdoor on a canoe!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a heart attack!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a spoon!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!”
- “You’re about as useful as a trapdoor on a canoe!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a heart attack!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
Buford’s Most Memorable Moments
Buford T. Justice has some of the most memorable moments in Smokey and the Bandit. These quotes capture the essence of his character and the hilarity of his scenes.
- “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”
- “You can think about it, but don’t do it!”
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
Buford’s Best Comebacks
Buford T. Justice is quick with a comeback, delivering lines that are as sharp as they are funny. These quotes showcase his wit and humor.
- “You can’t outrun me forever!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that steering wheel!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a heart attack!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a trapdoor on a canoe!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a baby!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a freight train!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a spoon!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you crossed me!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
Buford’s Funniest Threats
Buford T. Justice is known for his hilarious threats, which are as over-the-top as they are funny. These quotes are perfect for a laugh or a clever comeback.
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
- “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a chocolate teapot!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
Buford’s Most Iconic Lines
Buford T. Justice has some of the most iconic lines in movie history. These quotes are instantly recognizable and have become part of pop culture.
- “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”
- “You can think about it, but don’t do it!”
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
Buford’s Legacy: Why We Love Him
Buford T. Justice is more than just a character; he’s a cultural icon. His humor, wit, and larger-than-life personality have made him a beloved figure in movie history. These quotes remind us why we love him.
- “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.”
- “You can think about it, but don’t do it!”
- “I’m gonna barbecue your ass in molasses!”
- “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.”
- “You sumbitch! I’m gonna catch you!”
- “I’m gonna put your ass in a sling!”
- “You can’t outrun a Motorola!”
- “I’m gonna pin your ears back, you little bastard!”
- “I’m gonna have your hide hanging on my wall!”
- “You can’t outrun me, boy!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you’d never been born!”
- “You’re gonna be singin’ soprano when I’m done with you!”
- “I’m gonna make you eat that hat!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball!”
- “I’m gonna tan your hide, boy!”
- “You’re gonna regret the day you crossed Buford T. Justice!”
- “I’m gonna make you wish you were never born!”
- “You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!”
- “I’m gonna make you cry like a little girl!”
- “You’re about as sharp as a marble!”
A master of wit and wisdom, Mark Twain’s quotes are filled with humor, insight, and timeless life lessons. His words continue to inspire readers with their sharp observations on human nature. Jason’s legacy as a storyteller and social commentator remains unmatched.